he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
