A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
