Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
