Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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