Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
