Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
