We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
