i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
