kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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