no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
