Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
