Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
