Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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