ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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