I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
