Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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