ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
