Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
