I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
