If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
