You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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