Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
