awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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