I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
