just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
