Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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