please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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