She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
