How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
