end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
