R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
