And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
