Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
