This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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