before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
