K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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