I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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