It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
