last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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