The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
