i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
