Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
