I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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