Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
