Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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