what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
