i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
