whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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