My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
