I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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